Fiercely independent and 200 per cent woman

bangalore: another milestone, and it's nostalgia time for bharatanatyam dancer pratibha prahlad. a time to mull on life's journey -- never dull, tempestuous at times, peppered with peaks and valleys en route. surefooted, she lays the rules, living on her terms. and she exudes supreme confidence always. mistakes are learning experiences, filling out life, giving it substance.when she took the stage in bangalore on november 1 to receive the rajyotsava award -- karnataka government's highest honour for making the state proud, as cultural ambassador in her case -- her mind was a landmine of memories... good, bad, ugly -- nevertheless, memories she treasures for making her the well-rounded person she is today. images raced past... the time she took her first steps in dance at age three, more as a childhood fancy her parents were sure would pass, the intense struggle and punishing regimen to reach goals she set herself... as fine dancer, brilliant student on her parents' insistence, a committed daughter, yet who held her ground when it came to the nuts-and-bolts issues of her life, fiercely independent but a 200% woman with virtues and foibles -- strong, sensitive, romantic, vulnerable, sometimes impulsive... and then, single motherhood, which may have rattled a conservative society and set tongues wagging, but on her part, it was a calculated and well thoughtout move, distinctly uplifting and enriching from word `go'... it was the memory of her late mother however, that lingered, hauntingly so, as she walked on stage to receive the award, her mother by her side in spirit, swell with pride. "like she has been by my side when alive, as parent, friend and guide", recalls pratibha. she was always in agreement with her daughter's decisions even when she could not fathom them. "she would take time and patience to view life from my perspective, understand my rationale and then go with me." she was mama's girl. proud of her mother's broad vision on life and her drive to achieve. and that's why perhaps she is still caught in the vortex of maya (illusion) and reality barely a month after her mother's death. cut. she is transposed to the stage in russia, september-end. the last performance on that tour, when she gets news her mother is sinking. "the doctors gave her just a few hours to live... i was helpless and on the verge of an emotional breakdown... there was no question of packing up with a full house waiting for the show". she performed and by the time she reached the last item (mangalam) she was crying, her musicians also in tears. as she took her bow, the audience gave her a tearful standing ovation, she recalls, even the russian men, rarely moved to tears. dance may be her reason for being. but life is not abhinaya. she assumes responsibility for her actions, in control of every nuance. fortitude that probably explains how she could look death in the eye, unflinching. a strength of character that permits her to recall her loss not with a heavy heart, but with a radiant face. she will not cry for her mother. rather, memories will fuel her to reach the top, settling for nothing less than best. her mother's advise to her till the end. dance is also catharsis for her. that explains her getting back on stage days after her mother's death. for pratibha, life remains a challenge. and she will not be a loser. there is no stopping her. today she is a top-grade bharatnatyam artiste, member of the central sangeet natak academy and a jet-setter. she has come a long way, it was never easy. perched on top and basking in the limelight, she surveys all she conquered with deep satisfaction. the twins, her sons are the balancing factor.